Sometimes couples get so wrapped up in technique that they forget to relax and enjoy sex. Here is how you can make sex more fun.
Sometimes it helps to think ahead and make plans. It does not mean kids tucked in by 9.30, clothes off by 9.57, climax at 10.12. What we wanna say is something like this: your husband is out of city on a trip. Take Friday off from work, drop the kids at your mothers, and hop on into the car. Identify yourself at the front desk, order up some champagne from room service, get into that fancy lingerie – and wait. He opens the door and finds a very nice alternative to the evening conference he did not want to attend anyway. Such escapades may sound spontaneous, but they actually took a lot of forethought. One of the factors of keeping sex between a couple, fresh and fun is surprising your partner. In your active crowded lives, you have got to clear a path for spur – of – the moment adventures. When was the last time you threw a sleeping bag in the backyard and made love in your kid’s tent?
Break the Monotony
There is a big middle ground between great sex and psychosexual problems that drives many couples to seek professional help. Let’s call it the sexual blahs. You know the symptoms: not much preparation; no communication of like and dislikes; quick foreplay; the same position in the same bed, right before you go to sleep; “Good night sweet dreams – are you sure the doors are locked?”
Like so much in your life, a nice orderly routine. But over time that routine may become a boring routine. That ‘s when the doubt starts: “Does she still love me?” “Is she having sex with someone at the office?” Here variety can help break up what can become dangerous monotony. Try a new position. Maybe it is not for you. If not, say so and move on. It is not the end of the world. And you will have given your partner important messages: that you are open to new ideas, that you will try them out and that if you don’t like something, you’ll say so.
Change the times of day you make love; ask yourself what sex would be like on this beach or that sofa, and visualize it. Keep an open mind and a naughty sensibility – little touches can add immeasurably to your mutual enjoyment. Every couple has certain arousal techniques, which is special to them. These may include nibbling an ear, stroking, caressing those special places. Yet good foreplay begins long before you get into bed. It may be a well-placed hand during the ride home or the foot under the dining table. It could be a breathy phone call when he gets to work. It could be weeklong expressions of tenderness and care that have no immediate to sex – anything that says he is desirable and you’re available.
Equally important is the time after you make love. Don’t roll over and go to sleep. Don’t jump into the shower. During the resolution period after sex - that wonderful “coming down “ feeling – hug, laugh, take a bubble bath together, and give each other a massage. If you make the most of the sexual encounter, the next time you are in the mood, you’ll remember it; and that memory will start the foreplay all over again.
Some degrees of fantasy are okay in lovemaking. It can turn up the sexual volume, help you release in your own mind sides of you and your partner that are aggressive, perhaps forbidden. Don’t assume they are wishes you want to have come true; do not be afraid of them. And realize that they’ll change over the years. Some you’ll dismiss, others you will enhance. Let yourself enjoy them; make them work for you – you’ll find them beneficial to your sexuality, and a useful complement to your lovemaking skills.
Putting the fun back in your sex life is not just a matter of new positions, or trickier tricks. The secrets to happier, more playful lovemaking are a good relationship, good communication, an open mind, a youthful heart, a spirit of adventure and a desire to make sex with your partner a lifelong joy.So put your hair down and enjoy !!!!!!