How To Look Cool In a Pub?


So. It’s Saturday night. They are all going out to the new discotheque and they’re dragging you along with them. Horror! Horror! What are you going to do? You hate these places and you don’t want to look like you’re the most anti-social person on the face of the planet! There are a couple of ways you can cheat and actually end up looking really cool!

Looking Like Something When You Are Drinking Nothing!


  • Always have an almost empty glass in your hand. This can have a mixture of ice and about an inch of either water, coke or 7-Up. This creates the illusion of you having an almost empty glass of either vodka (neat), rum and coke or white rum/ vodka and 7-Up respectively!


  • If you’re feeling really daring, get one of those cocktail umbrellas and a slice of lemon and dump it in your glass. Voila! You are having a cocktail!


  • One of the coolest looking non-alcoholic drinks to have is tonic water! Ultraviolet lights, which almost every pub/ disco have, make the tonic water this wild electric blue, which REALLY looks cool!




  • Only go onto the dance floor when it is completely packed and there is almost absolutely no room for movement! That way you can never be wrong and remember to complain loudly and vehemently about how you so wanted to dance but there was just not enough room!!


  • Whenever you are about to be dragged onto the dance floor, say that you will join them after you finish your drink….(this helps with the former problem as well!) When they come back after a sufficient amount of time has passed, say you detest that song and absolutely refuse to dance to it! The next time they come back, make sure you have another almost empty glass in your hand to finish!!!




  • There are only two things you say when you are offered a cigarette and you don’t smoke, “ I quit a week ago” and “ I don’t smoke cigarettes!” You will immediately be empathized with for the former and held in a VERY different light for the latter!!

Now you know the tricks on how to look ‘cool’ and ‘in’ when you are dragged to a pub! Just make sure that whatever you do, whether you cheat or not, you have fun! If you have any of your own tried and tested tricks, just send it through the feedback mail, and we will include them too!