A terminal disease can be defined as one in which a person knows he is going to die of that condition for example cancer or AIDS. To know that death is so close by, the onward journey is going to be very painful and a lot of human desires are going to remain unfulfilled is indeed an incomprehensible situation. Fear or concern about near and dear ones like spouse, children or elderly parents already starts killing you slowly. Financial hassles and cost of medical treatment scare you and you may lose your sleep over it.
You must try and keep your pain away from this whole situation and try and be rational. The patient is already in physical pain and his emotions have gone haywire. “A person who is suffering from a terminal disease needs all the support from the family and friends. There is physical pain, mental agony and emotional trauma to deal with. Understanding plays an important role in care taking ” says Deepali Kapoor, counselor with Cancer Patients Aid Association (CPAA). Of course it is very trying on the part of a care taker also. But since he is physically more capable the onus of caring and giving lies on his shoulders.
The caretaker however should never hesitate to ask for help of any sort, be it from family, friends or any institution. There are volunteers who can come and help, care take for a few hours while you may want to be away. It is advisable to do some fun activities like going out for movies, plays etc. Many charitable organizations also help financially.
“ It is also advisable that a patient undertakes some spiritual activities to keep a cool mind. It helps to forget the pain for some time while he is praying or listening to discourses or meditating ” says Deepali Kapoor .
You should also get all his legal papers in order and make a will. You must ask your spouse if he has any other desire, and must try and fulfill them. The options available to him, in case any complications were to arise should also be discussed with him. All financial legalities should be coped with while the patient is alive. Most of the times, when a man dies, he leaves his property to a son, which could cause a problem later in life for the wife. One should take care of this.
A person who is suffering from a terminal illness is very susceptible to suicide, due to growing, pain and discomfort. Hence he needs love and support of the family members, especially his/her spouse. At all costs the patient should be kept as painless as possible. Also the spouse should be extra loving, even physically.
Cause the fear of death, just waiting round the bend is itself so scary, whether you are suffering or it is your loved one that is afflicted, the intensity of the pain is same. In this situation you need all the love and affection that you can get and remember FAITH is a strong word…..
And GIVING a corollary to life! For someone who has been a source of happiness for all your life, the least
you can do is give him a painless death. In the end when all is blur, and fear is a paramount emotion, and the warmth of someone’s hand assures you that he will be your partner even in death is reassuring.
Having lost a spouse is the biggest loss for humankind, but you are alive and you must try and be happy, until it is your time to face the ultimate reality of life.